Didn’t have much reason to get on here and write about anything until now, I think I might be sick in the head,. I keep
F U C K I N G everything up. Not once am I at peace.. guess the scars running down my arms should have reminded me of that, probably should have gotten on here a while ago nothings gone right since I got here, recently became homeless, never thought I’d be back here again.. I’ve got nowhere to run now. . Seems like it’s all that I’ve been doing lately is just.. Running away. Been running from my fucked up reality, only thing that’s been helping me get by is.. him. Him, is this perfect person, who’s done nothing but help me since day one. Hes funny, sweet, cute and loving, he’s perfect.. Just fucking habit of not knowing what to do sounds pathetic, and weak. But I’m afraid of admitting that maybe, Ashleys right.. im falling for him in the quick 2 months that I’ve known him, instead I push it away because I’m too much of a coward to embrace it. Its eating me alive that I can’t look at him in the eyes and be like, look I might just fucking love you, Im so fuckin scared of being rejected or walked out on as always.. It might be my daddy issues, it might not.. I might just be going insane. Its been getting so hard to trust people to not leave.. for a while,.. just tired now.. I fucked up. I fucked up badd.. I just lost out on something good.. something perfect.. its killing me right now.. he probably won’t care but since I’ve met him I’ve been the happiest.. I havent ever smiled so much because of a person.. ever.. if that makes any sense,…
I fucked up.. I fucked up. Oh my god, I fucked up..
Guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry, I fucked up.. And that I’d do just about Anything just to get things to how they were..